All the Small Things...

I do not know where to begin... So excited for my friends who are expecting and welcoming another member into their family. I am honoured to be part of the few who get to know the news first, and to be able to experience something totally new despite from not a part of the family, well, blood related anyways. To feel the little nudges on my fingers on her belly is just a whole new experience for me, and I wonder when will it be my turn next. Seems to me it will be a while before that goes down.

Anyways, I hope to see you all at the hospital today and am excited to welcome that little one into the family!

The Submission

I suppose this will be another post about how things have been since I got the letter from the immigration. Not that I would like to talk about it, but it has been a while since I have kept to my blog, for obvious reasons. I need to think of a name so that I can have it on the internet, except I just don't want her around here. For what it's worth, it was pretty unfair for me when things happened. Though, I would like to think myself the perpetrator in this whole conundrum, it was not entirely my fault. Maybe it was, but we never got around to talk about it, and that was the problem.

But enough about this charade, the reason for this post is rather simple, until I get news from the government, a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders, and I am still deciding whether or not to submit my PR application. It would be greater if I submitted my PR application as well, but yeah, I still have doubts about the whole "restoration" status on the application, plus, I am not sure how this will all go down for me, because so far I have been rejected by everything I have came in contact with. Maybe it is just my luck, but I hope someone up there will smile upon me in regards to all this. I hope and pray this will soon come to an end.

In recent days, I have been on and off the bike. I need to start soon, because this project won't start itself without me. So far I have gone up and down Whoop-Up drive for my training, and I have to say I have improved much compared to my first time. I guess I need to start somewhere... Make a decision and just go for it instead of worrying about how the day is going to be. Anyways, I think this will be it for now... I think I know what I should do.

Until next time, cheers.

Lost

"You'll find me in the next life, if not in this one."

-Nadia to Sayid

Dances with Elks

!!! DISCO DANCING !!!

Satellie/Stealing Time by Above and Beyond

The days are counting down, and on Monday I will see the immigration lawyer and see what can be done.

My last chance, to see if I will be able to stay. There's nothing much to say for the last couple of weeks. The new place has been pretty good, and I have been getting enough rest without the computer in the room. I hope I will be able to remain here, because this is... my life.

 

90 Days...

My dearest Hobbes,

It has been a while since I last wrote you a letter. Never a day goes by without me thinking of you. To know you are in a better place puts my mind at ease, but I am now between a rock and a hard place. Stress level is unbelievably high and there are so much going on right now. I wish you are still here with me, lately it has become more and more unbearable knowing things are not working out as I hoped it would.

My hands are outrageously poxed with eczema due to the stress I am going through for the last couple of months. All I wish for is comfort from another human being. A hug, or slight touch, or just some comforting words that might bring my spirits back. But from what I see, comfort is hard to come by nowadays. Yesterday when I got off work and got into the car I started crying so hard. I felt so broken I do not know what else I can do.

With how things are going there is really nothing I can do to ease the horrors of getting deported due to changes made by the government in regards to my work permit extension. There are so many things I need to consider and take care of if I do go back. There is my car first of all. I love my car... But to part with it is way worse than anything else. I have the house to worry about, the things I have over the last 7 years, and Kane to worry about as well. I can deal with leaving some things behind but this is a life I have built for the last couple of years here. To go back means having to start over again, and even if I get my PR, which I do not even know if I will be able to get, coming back means I need to start all over again and not like I can just start where I left off.

All I can do now is hope. I am at a time when things are changing, and I am affected by this change. Time and circumstance I suppose... I have one last resort and hope things will look up. Please, please work...

Before I end this letter I just want to quote from futurama...

"Nibbler: What is one life weighed against the entire universe?" 

"Fry (in tears): But it was my life..."

That is how I feel right now... The feeling of hopelessness and nothingness...

I miss you very much Hobbes, and I hope to see you again when I go to the other side.

with Love,
-Alan.

Oh simple things... where have you gone?

So, in a couple of days I will be moving to the new place. I am excited and not at the same time. So many things to pack, so many things to get rid of... But I suppose I know what's going to happen. There are quite a few things that I will leave behind, to reduce the burden I have ever since I moved here. As of now the cliche said by people around me are invading my mind... seems pretty funny. So unrealistic...

Enough of my rants... A new favourite.